In life some people don’t need you to Preach a Sermon they need you to Live one. Inky Johnson - Motiversity

I will be walking up Ben Nevis with a few friends on Saturday 8th October 2022. I have chosen to help raise money for PTSD999, a charity close to my heart.

In October 2020 I was serving Detective Inspector investigating some of the most serious and complex crimes. After years of dealing with traumatic incidents one finally came back to haunt me. I struggled to eat or sleep, my wife told me to ask for help but I did not know how. It is others that ask the police for help and not the other way around. After two weeks of little or no sleep, I contemplated if it was it easier to not be here at all, these thoughts scared me, I did not recognise myself. I had reached Crisis point and had a nervous breakdown. I called a close friend who said, “Darren, it’s ok to ask for help mate". He was my lifeline and brought me to the doctors. From here my journey began, the two years that followed have been the toughest of my life. I sought help and was later diagnosed with PTSD from child abuse investigations 6 years prior. A therapy known as EMDR was used, it helped to save my life; it helped me to move the traumatic images I would see up to 50 times per day, it helped me identify my triggers and gave me coping strategies. I can now live a far happier, healthier and more present life with my family, friends and most importantly my wife and children.

I have recently taken a break from the police service after 16 years of service. To change the culture and stigma of mental health within any organisation we must first accept we are all vulnerable to it. In any organisation when staff ask for help, please support them, please do not judge them because the next person it affects could be you. I believe most absences from our work place can be prevented if we listen to our people sooner.

Take care and please know asking for help is not a sign of weakness it takes enormous courage; I only wish I had had the courage to act sooner before I became seriously ill.

Since meeting Gary, one of the co-founders of PTSD999, we have become close friends. Gary’s help, kindness and support has helped with my long-term recovery and that of my twin brother who has just been medically retired from London Fire Brigade with severe PTSD after 21 years of service.

If you are going through this now, please know you are not alone, you will be OK and it will not last forever. Your peers, family, friends, work and PTSD999 can all help.